Trouble writing? Me too!
You ever feel like you want to write something, but you don’t know how to start and it feels high-stakes in your head because you want it to be good but you don’t have the energy to put out something polished and pretty and so you do nothing and have nothing to show for the idea (vague, undeveloped, terra incognita as it is) you have in your head…? And it feels not-so-good having done nothing???
Or is it just me?
May I suggest: LISTS.
Like, list of character names you like. List of beautiful/terrible/memorable things that can happen to a person. List of potential poem titles. List of saints to pray to. Playlists. List of unfiltered thoughts. List of things to write about in that Substack you started and then didn’t update until the spring buds started peeking out.
You can’t really go wrong with a list, and the more chaotic and all-over-the-place it is the better!
I’m sorry I’ve been away, I really did have a lot to attend to these past few months. Without getting into it too deep: medical stuff, work, more medical stuff, building consistency in my writing/reading “practice” (I love how that sounds), letting myself settle into (in my words to my therapist) a “socially dormant period.” And now I’m back. Almost 100 pages into a notebook I started journaling/writing my novel in mid-December, which for me is awesome because (a) my handwriting is quite small, and (b) I have historically written in notebooks when I had “energy” and/or “inspiration,” and then left them in silence for months on end whenever I “lost momentum” (got lazy).
Not so with notebook no. X! At some I point decided I would journal and write my novel in my journal every day even if I feel like crap. Even if it’s crappy, or very brief, or just a list. I would write a journal entry for the day, then continue on with my novel-in-progress, which would be on a different page spread. I’ve had days where I’ve written just a sentence or two for my novel, and some days where I’ve written pages. So it balances out! It’s not perfect - I think I’ve missed maybe 3-4 days of novel-writing - but the discipline is there and I’m pleased. Getting started was the hardest part, and it just got easier as I filled more pages.
I haven’t actually read any books by Ernest Hemingway, but I do like what he said here about what to do when having difficulty writing:
"I would stand and look out over the roofs of Paris and think, “Do not worry. You have always written before and you will write now. All you have to do is write one true sentence. Write the truest sentence that you know.” So finally I would write one true sentence, and then go on from there." (source)
Somehow, I didn’t carry my discipline into updating my Substack. I think because I’d been contemplating balance in my life, trying to spend more time off screens, which has been good for me. Along with writing and reading, I’ve been going to cafes more, cooking lots, and making personal zines for my partner. Feels good! But I want to do more Nosebleed Club and more Nosebleed Club Substack. Still trying to figure things out.
Main takeaways: (1) make lists, (2) do a little bit of your Activity each day, and (3) it’s ok if you’re still figuring things out. I don’t know if I conveyed my thoughts well at all, so if you have any questions just ask. I’m still getting the hang of newsletter writing, so I guess I’ll end with a list?
List of Things I’ve Enjoyed Lately
This Shinola Notebook and this Kaweco Fountain Pen are what have been getting me through my daily writings.
(NONFICTION) American Covenant by Michael A Soukup and Gary E Machlis is an excellent and beautifully written and informative book about national parks. The official blurb describes it as “[a]n intimate and candid account of our national parks detailing their strengths, vulnerabilities, and essential role in American life.” Given how things have been lately (you know what I mean), I highly recommend reading this, especially if you love nature and national parks as I do.
(FICTION) Laurus by Eugene Vodolazkin. It is just really good. From the official blurb: “It is a time of plague and pestilence, and a young healer, skilled in the art of herbs and remedies, finds himself overcome with grief and guilt when he fails to save the one he holds closest to his heart.” I finished reading this on April 11 and I am still thinking about it.
(FILM) Princess Mononoke directed by Hayao Miyazaki. I mean, honestly, any Miyazaki film, but I Just Really Love Princess Mononoke. The characters, the lush landscapes, the action… but perhaps you already know!
I randomly have loved making puttanesca with bucatini (this is the one I use) lately. I’m allergic to fish so I don’t use anchovies but it’s still delicious. I thought about sharing the recipe, but I honestly feel a little intimidated and shy because I get the sense that I’m among really good cooks. I don’t know why I feel that way.
Home interiors and skincare. Two areas that have been taking up a lot of space in my brain again… not linking anything because it will probably be very niche and I might make separate entries on these. Just know I have a lot of thoughts on lamps, bedding, chairs, and serums.
Ok, maybe I got off-topic a bit, but it was nice to write for this newsletter again. Until next time, please take care!